Manners and Mannerisms
by Nuclear Burp
Summary: Rebuilding a village is hard. Financing a reconstruction is harder. Creating a new series of political alliances between old clans is brutal. Teaching Naruto how to slurp noodles without drenching anyone? The other side of impossible.
1. How did this all begin?

_This is effectively a discontinuation of the 'From willow to Oak' series that I had started up before, generally because of reasons that are spoilerific. (Kindly remind me, NaruSaku fans, what pride comes before)_

_Either way, this idea popped into my head. It was funny. In this, Kakashi is presumed permanently dead, and whatever Pain and Konan do now has been glazed over. Enjoy.  
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_Schhhluuuuurp_

_Guwikpopahhschhhhluuuuup_

_Guwikguwikguwikdookdookpopschluuuupppp_

Onlookers stared. Men sweeping the dust off of streets and hammering spars into place paused as the gastronomically-enhanced explosions sounded through the air. Drops of salty broth, furiously airborne from the rate the noodles were guzzled arced through the air and into the faces of other patrons at the new stand by the road. One figure seated at the stand carried on, oblivious, and wiped its mouth with a coatsleeve, setting the now empty noodle bowl down on the wood.

_Urp._

"Another one!"

"Miso again?"

"Make it a big one!"

Another bowl slid into place in front of a yellow hurricane, chopsticks poised and ready to devour with wholehearted ambition. The very second the owner's hands were removed, they struck, the wide quivering noodles caught and ensnared between the thin utensils, brought en masse into the gaping, grinning maw.

_OMNOMguwikguwikguwikgulpurpschlurpnomgulp_

The eyes of the onlookers, now in a state of terrified halt, now doubled in surprise as they discovered no, they weren't dreaming and yes, this was actually happening in front of them. Four bowls next to the chewing figure stood empty, a testament to the incredible stomach capacity of one Naruto Uzumaki. Some of the more informed of the civilians would have noticed and identified the ninja beside him. To his immediate left, sporting a look of irritated exasperation, was the young strategic genius Nara, his ponytail weighted down in the middle from a slowly forming pool of caught ramen broth. Anybody who knew him well enough also knew why he didn't bother to remove the liquid heart attack.

In the stool to his right, the supposed-maybe scion of the Hyuuga clan, Hinata, who looked to be trying to enjoy her own ramen in peace, occasionally sending cautious glances Naruto's way. Although certain rumours had circulated about a confession, a series of gentle questions and one angry Hyuuga Head demanding why his daughter had such a poor ability in time management, nothing had been proven. To _her_ left sat two other Kunoichi, the possibly foreign Tenten and the most definitely blonde Yamanaka Ino, both showing varying levels of disgust at the airborne soup.

_Urp…uuuuurp. Omnomnomnomschluuuurpschluuurpurp-ackcoughcoughblehschluuuurp_

To Shikamaru's left sat Haruno Sakura, the possible successor to Hokagedom after her mentor, Tsunade. Rumours also flew around about how she had confined her master to bed after over-exerting her Infuin whilst healing the villagers. Her skills at handling paperwork and deciding on delegations to request aid from the more benevolent countries and Daimyo technically hadn't been in her training, but she handled it well enough. It was her idea to send off to a hidden village of 'Woodsingers', Ninja with the ability to speed the growth of seeds into houses and furniture, with acceptable results. The recovery of the village was sound, the payment was vague, and some whispered of shadowy dealings with the morgue… Although to look at her now, wrinkling her nose in dismay at the blond boy's antics, you wouldn't know.

To her left sat Chouji, the young Akimichi eating perhaps just as much as Naruto was, but with considerably more restraint. If was something telling of the man that his lowered appetite was not due to taste or decorum, but more in the fact that he had been experiencing Nightmares since Pain's attack. His father had almost fallen to his wounds, the Copy-nin Kakashi died despite all attempts to revive him, the Medic-nin Shizune's body had been brought back… but she ('_It'_) was soon put back to rest. There was a difference between Resurrection and Necromancy, one that the villagers of the leaf respected. Chouji could still see her lurching corpse at night, whenever his eyes were shut.

_Gulp… gulp… gulp… dookdookdookpaaaaaaah!_

"Say what you will, but even Lee wouldn't eat like that." Tenten murmured into Ino's ear, jerking upright guiltily when Hinata gave her a pleading look. "Uhhh… I mean… ah, sorry." She apologized, reminding herself that the girl's confession had been met with awkward silence when she reminded the Jinchuriki. "But come on, he's putting it away like air! Make him eat vegetables! Make him eat something solid!"

"If he's anything like Chouji, good luck." Ino shuddered, "Don't get me wrong, I like the guys, but there's no way their digestive system is anything like ours." She pointed out the Takoyaki dished on a curled plate in front of the redhead. He slowly, with almost painstaking precision, skewered one on a chopstick, rolling it into his mouth and hummed at the flavour.

"Men are simple creatures, with simple tastes." Shikamaru defended from next to him, apparently keeping a tab on the girl's conversation. "But we can have variety, if only because there's nothing more troublesome than constipation."

"Gross. And look at Naruto!" Ino bleched. The blond had more or less attached his face to the bowl

_Urp._

"Somebody call me?" Naruto dug his head out of the bowl, setting it aside. He turned his head both ways, catching Shikamaru's head lying on the table, waving lazily. Sakura was attempting to manoeuvre a pair of bean sprouts out of her bowl, Chouji was still munching. He turned his head again. Hinata's permanent blush, Tenten's smirk and Ino's scowl met his gaze.

"Variety, Naruto. We were discussing how you don't have any." Tenten drawled, fiddling with her own bowl offhandedly.

"Variety? I've got plenty of variety!"

"Prove it. Name us twenty different foods you eat."

"Right…"

Naruto scrunched up his face, trying to remember. Shaking his head, he instead turned to the menu hung up in the back on the shop. The girls collectively sighed as he muttered something akin to 'I can never remember the last one.'

"Right, I eat Pork Ramen, Miso Ramen, Curry Ramen, Beef Ramen, Menchi Ramen, Chicken Ramen…"

Tenten snorted, shaking her head and reaching over to tug Hinata's collar. "Can you pick them or what?" She joked, earning a light chuckle from Ino and a scandalized giggle from Hinata.

"… Ramen with Gyoza, Tempura Ramen, Ramen Deluxe, Take Ramen…"

"On the bright side, he isn't splashing us anymore." Sakura mumbled to herself, Shikamaru let loose a solitary 'Heh' as his response. Chouji paused from his connoisseural escapade to lend an ear to Naruto's listing.

"… Shoyu Ramen, Kitakita Ramen, Hakata Ramen, Tsukemen, Aburasoba…"

Hinata seemed to slowly descend into her seat as the giggling to her right intensified. Sakura and Shikamaru sighed in unison, the former nudging the latter and sliding her mostly-empty bowl over to the genius. A querying look, a view at the bowl, a smile.

'Thanks for saving me the soup.'

Sakura groaned. Trust him to only want the part that didn't need chewing.

"… Udon, Su Udon, Tanuki Udon, Kitsune Udon, Rice…"

The girl's ears picked up.

"… With Udon…"

They dropped again, and the laughter reheated. Chouji was also beginning to contribute, listing his favourite places to eat, rather than dishes.

"There's this awesome place just to the left of the stairs to the Bensai district…"

"… Soba, Yakisoba, Yakiudon, I've forgotten the name of that dish with the meat-filled noodles, but that was-…"

"… And there was the park with all of the flowers, on clear nights you can see the moon through the Sakura and the petals taste so sweet on a dumpling…"

"… Seriously, guys, what was it called?"

"That's enough, Naruto." Sakura grumbled, tugging at his ear. "Your soup is getting cold."

With sighs of relief, Naruto ceased his litany and concentrated once more on his beloved Ramen. The sounds of intense digestion filled the air, along with Chouji's prose on eating locations.

Tenten nodded, leaving a few Ryo on the counter to handle her tab, beckoning to the already-long-finished Hinata and Ino to follow her. Waving their goodbyes (Answered by a lazy grunt, a half-hearted wave and a pair of slurps) the trio of kunoichi set off through the newly constructed streets of Konoha-no-futaba, where even as they watched pairs of Kage-bunshin set tiles into an apartment roof and dug up the road for slabs of broken concrete. The stepped into one of the hollow paths, when Tenten snorted and broke out into peels of laughter, drawing a few comments from bystanders.

'_Is there a gas leak?'_

'_What's her last name again?'_

'_The Hell 'ttebayo?'_

"Sorry, sorry. I was kind of thinking about places to eat and then I remembered what Chouji said and… heh heh, I reckon I've been reading too much subliminal messaging text…"

Hinata blinked at Ino behind her back, who shrugged.

"I mean, _I love to eat Sakura's dumplings in the park… Hehehehehe…'_

Ino rolled her eyes; Hinata turned a new shade of red.

"Did somebody spike your bowl? This isn't like you." Hinata finally said aloud, perking up slightly at Ino's 'Hear hear'. Concurrence with her opinions was usually restricted to her team or Hanabi (On the rare occasions they had spoken), and the solidarity of her peers was a pleasant if difficult pill to swallow.

"… I did say I was sorry, right?" Tenten sniffed, "I guess it's still a little raw for me. Village boundaries are shrinking, and you know what that means."

"Border patrol, huh? How many shifts are you pulling?"

"I'm skirting the Grass and Rain borders. Not much on the Rain side, especially now that Pain's been… well… anyway, it's about as fun as waxing."

"I've still got work at the Florists. We lost about a third of our field stocks, and you know what that means."

Tenten nodded. The Yamanaka family supplied at least half the poisons and several antidote bases through their botanist lineage. With so many injured during the Akatsuki attack, medicine was more important than manpower.

"So, Hinata? What's new?" The two of them turned to face their quiet companion, who breathed out in surprise at the sudden attention. "Well, Father heard about my defence of the village and K-kurenai-sensei, and he wasn't very impressed…"

"Figures."

"But he respected my decision to first ensure that the Hyuuga household wasn't badly damaged. Koh was very helpful, he managed to convince the elders that preventing a Bijuu from falling to Akatuski hands was a greater priority than shoring up the front gate."

"Good for him."

"… but only just." Hinata couldn't help but add. Tenten blinked in response.

"Was that a joke? Little Hina-chan joking about her anal family?"

"Mark it off on the calendar. So how is Koh, anyway?"

"His cast comes off tomorrow. He wanted to have six weeks to heal so that the Medics wouldn't be too troubled."

"I'll bet it's just so he doesn't have to work." Ino pointed out.

"Most likely." Hinata nodded.

They walked on silently, each feeling their own version of subtle exhaustion. Ino's hair showed split ends and tiny clumps of biddy-bid seeds that had lodged themselves in her search for wild strains of herbs, a sign of how even the vain Yamanaka couldn't find much time to beautify herself. Tenten's eyes were beginning to bag, a dark sheen ('Mascara de Gaara' Temari had joked, before ducking the angry flurry of Kunai) that surrounded her sclera. Hinata fidgeted less, and had a habit of overcompensating her turns, resulting in possibly the first-ever command from her father that she not train her Kaiten until she could stop it from demolishing whatever she was within ten metres of.

Thus, the three of them offered silent thanks to Naruto. Weeks of rebuilding, diplomacy and mild paranoia had culminated and ebbed away when the youngest Sage of the world declared that he himself would pay for the Rookie twelve's meals at the newly opened Ichiraku Ramen store. These weeks were unpaid, but a little speech from Naruto about the importance of national pride and 'Making things better' had somewhat changed the minds of uncooperative villagers. That and the giant menacing frogs. And the angry faces of Hyuuga Neji and Inuzuka Kiba. And the great menacing buzz of the combined Aburame hives. And the out-of-place grimaces on the two green beasts of Konoha.

Naruto had to have known his friends were intimidating them. He _had to._

Ino and Hinata, however, had been to enough clan meetings to know there were difficulties. Either as stand-ins or attendants, they had nonetheless come by information of the financial kind. Konoha was rich, absolutely, and Naruto provided a great deal of the labour required in the rebuilding of the village, but materials were still hard to come by. Yamato and the Tree-nin could only produce so much wood, and even then it was only a few different kinds. Stone needed hewing; timber needed treatment, water and food needed to be found. Konoha sifted through the coffers and found them full, but soon the expenses began to pile up.

At first, Gaara in his official stature of Kazekage had offered Nin and capital (On interest, but reasonably so) to support the leaf, but his council limited the support he could supply. Waterfall also offered a loan, but was refused after a summary argument over rates of repayment. Konoha seemed to be nearing bankruptcy…

… Until aid came from an unlikely sector. The Hyuuga, with their numerous connections and clout, managed to secure the leaf's position. The village was saved…

… But now the people of the Sun wanted their recompensation. Hinata knew that somehow, if her father were to have any way to be rid of her and place Hanabi on the next heirdom, it would likely be this way. A political alliance, a marriage for reward, blood for money.

"Ah! Idiot! I knew I'd forgotten something!" Ino slapped her forehead, before reaching down to withdraw a thin scroll from a backside pocket. "The housing tally. Naruto needs to know if we'll need to expand past the walls to accommodate the tents now that we're missing a chunk of the village. Hinata, would you…?"

"I don't know whether to hug you or hit you, Ino." Hinata huffed, irritated that her most open weak spot was the one most openly prodded. She wouldn't miss a chance to speak with Naruto, and that was exploited by her friends whenever possible.

"You're a princess. Literally. See you around, don't be a stranger!" The perky blonde bounced away, presumably to a hot bath. Tenten gave a wave of her own and set off towards her apartment.

Hinata groaned, and tried to figure out how to introduce herself in. After her confession, things had been… odd. Painful, mostly. She was trying to think of the word that described the state between her and Naruto. It was… stalled. Inconvenient. Put on hold.

"Limbo, that's the word."

She shook her head, feeling the unaccustomed roughness of her unwashed hair brush against her neck in the dusk. After the battle, Naruto woke up after dropped out of fatigue in the middle of the village, she had hesitantly opened the tent flap to his stretcher and asked if he was well.

And they talked.

_I don't know._

_I don't know what to say._

_I don't think that either of us have time for this. We have a village to save._

_I love you._

_Thank you._

_Afterwards, maybe we can talk…_

_Afterwards, then._

Nothing definite. But it was a start. He would think, and she could hope. If was with those neutral thoughts in mind that she lifted the door-flap of Ichiraku's to find Naruto alone with his sixth bowl.

"Naruto-kun, I-Ino had something for you." She cursed her stammering, but old habits died hard. He looked up, blinking with a trail of dripping noodles in his mouth, and she stomped down a giggle before it surfaced.

"Furgh megh? Isht nobt anaba schtalka, isht icht?" He mumbled, before remembering to swallow.

_Urp_

"That's better. Now, what's the note?" He held out a hand, gripping the wooden end of the scroll lightly as ownership passed.

"Housing arrangements."

"Oh, for-… This is the stuff I need Dad for… or Ebisu. Why can't we just put the houses on stilts on top of the crater?" He whined as he looked over the details. "So what if it's too big to fill with Doton? So what if it's becoming a lake? I like lakes! Did you ever see the houses built beside the Great Naruto Bridge? They were freaking sweet!"

Hinata let the ramblings roll over her, gentle and vaguely interlocked with the rolling of his lips. Once again, her thoughts turned to the boy's insufferable energy, and those thoughts turned to power, to purity, to stamina…

"… and then your dad asked me out to dinner."

Hinata jolted out of her little daydream with that unfortunate sentence.

"What?"

"Your dad –Hiashi, right?- wants to go out to dinner with me. Something about how much the village owes him and how I'm the spokesdude thingy and stuff. I told Tsunade but she threw things and me and told me that my jokes sucked. Sakura just said that even Izanami couldn't help my sorry ass. Anything I should know before I meet up with him?"

Father wants to discuss something with Naruto-kun.

_Father wants to discuss payment._

_I'm the likely form of payment. I'm the payment of opportunity._

_To the village. Or to…_

Hinata stared. Naruto shifted around, feeling uncomfortable.

"For a start, Naruto-kun, you'll need to learn some table manners."

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_Reviews, Feedback and comments are always welcome. The more you give me, the faster I make a new chapter. Selfish, but I'm a selfish man._


	2. On balloons, pepper and magic tricks

_Over Seven reviews for a chapter. A new Record!_

_See what I mean? The more you criticize, the more a person wants to write more and remove those problems. Therefore: The second chapter. If accidentally ingested, consult god.  
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"Now, Naruto-kun, where are chopsticks not meant to go?" Hinata repeated for the third time that evening, caught between amusement and exasperation. The Jinchuriki next to her 'herm'd and 'haw'd, trying to recall the long list that Hinata had dredged up in the five minutes she had been watching him eat.

"… the air?"

"Very good. No pointing. I'm surprised you're still doing it after what happened with Moegi-chan's balloon." She sighed.

"Hey, in defence, my chopsticks weren't sharp. Konohamaru just took it as an opportunity, being jealous and all."

"Jealous of a balloon?"

"Not my fault he's immature." Naruto said, without a single trace of irony. Hinata came _this close_ to hanging her head. _Where was the pride you had when you said he took after you in every way? Does Bijuu possession result in short-term memory loss?_ "Never mind, Naruto. Where else is forbidden?"

"In my mouth without fingers on them?"

"As amazing as you are, Naruto-kun, you really c-cannot pull off the walrus look very well. Not to mention the fact that if you had been paying atinsh –sorry- _attention_ in academy, you would know that most are capable of ramming those pieces through the back of your throat. It's just a miracle you don't eat dango very often."

"…"

She halted, feeling the colour rush from her face. Naruto had stopped his snack to look unnaturally pensive. Had she brought up painful memories of his Pre-genin years? Did she remind him about the considerable bounty on his head as a result of blabbing about his lineage? Or perhaps he had noted that as incredible as he was, he was just like any other man with regards to being terribly, _terribly _mortal…

"Hinata?"

"Y-yes?" She gulped, feeling the stutters begin again.

"What's a walrus?"

Time stopped, rewinded over that moment, and Hinata felt something collapse in her brain. Most likely her sanity.

"Mou… try to pay attention, please?" She pleaded, relieved despite herself when his cheerful smile returned. "The next place?"

"Down my shirt?" He sniggered, "Don't be hard on it, Hinata. That was maybe the best prank I'd ever pulled on old man Teuchi since Ayame left!" His grin faltered when he saw perhaps the strangest expression on Hinata's face, her lips pursed and eyes narrowed in scolding, but cheeks puffing and stretching from resisting laughter. He decided to push it a little further.

"Hey, Teuchi, wanna see a magic trick?" He whispered across the counter to her, earning an appreciative chuckle from the proprietor as he passed and a conspiratorial giggle from Hinata. "You will notice nothing up my sleeve…" He opened the vast depths of his Sage coat, revealing a cavern of cloth and little else. "And nothing on these chopsticks…" He held them up, grumbling as he noted a noodle coiled around the shaft of one.

_Schluup_

"… And nothing on these chopsticks." He repeated, wiping his mouth (Hinata moved too slowly with the serviette, the coat sleeve once again was smeared with broth) and turning to show only his profile to Hinata. Holding his face skyward, he lifted the chopsticks up and dropped them towards his gaping mouth. To the gullible, it appeared as if he had dropped the utensils and eaten them whole, whereas all he'd down was drop them down the side of his shirt. Swallowing with exaggeration, he then began patting his stomach. "I have only just come into acquisition of a brand new Kekkei Genkai, one that allows me to project anything I have eaten from within my body!"

Hinata, using the premise of her giggles to duck her head and hide her eyes with her hair, activated her Byakugan to better understand the trick. She saw as Naruto made grand, sweeping gestures, his arms brushed against the chopsticks and pushed them further and further out of his right sleeve, slipping them into his coat.

"I now call upon the Powers that be within my massively awesome and highly sought-after Ninja body to COME OUT!!" He began waving his arms in a spooky manner, and Hinata raised her head to at least give the impression of watching him normally, knowing that his waving arms were moving the wooden tricks towards his hand.

"Now, be kind, I must pray and speak to the spirits of the dead." He blanked his face, trying to aim for a reverential look but instead looking like a concussed Gorilla. "Olly-Woggy Pollywoggy Ump-bump fizz, Olly-Woggy Pollywoggy Ump-bump fizz…" He chanted, holding his sleeves together in a monkish fashion, presumably to grab the sticks.

"Alright. The spirits of the dead have spoken. Woooo and stuff. Also, I need more underwear for Christmas." Naruto waggled his eyebrows, "They were really clear on that part."

"I don't suppose the 'spirits' s-said anything about the size." Hinata pointed out.

"Good point. Hang on a minute, the spirits are having a coffee break." Naruto hummed for a second, and rolled his eyes. "Size Large."

"Our spirits back home only tell us to let off fireworks."

"Cool!"

Hinata shivered, the cool night air was setting in and chilling the mesh under her jacket. "The trick, please?"

"Hinata! How dare you! This is my ultimate Kekkei Genkai! Passed down from the perverted Sandaime to my perverted Sage Godfather to my most-likely perverted father to my definitely perverted sensei! This is no trick!" Naruto at least acted indignant reasonably well.

"Your trick, Naruto-kun." Hinata repeated, a little sharper than before. As quiet as she knew herself to be, she had no love for the cold and desperately wanted to either teach Naruto somewhere warm or go to bed.

_Why not both?_

'Eep'ing as she shut down the thought, Naruto continued in front of her. "Uzumaki Naruto Ninpo Jo! Hadakigu Ougi!" He cried, getting off his stool to place a foot atop it, "Come out!"

A pair of chopsticks shot out of his right fist on either side of his middle finger, he waggled his eyebrows and grinned. Hinata snorted, before covering her mouth to prevent any more embarrassing expressions of amusement from escaping.

"Laaaaaaame."

From behind her, barking in potential agreement was a large and fluffy white dog. Riding its back was a young man in a leather jacket and unbelievable scruffy hair, smirking at the blond and shaking his head.

"Don't think you'll be able to make Chunin with that kind of repertoire." He taunted, his armed crossed. Naruto pointed the fist at him, flipping a chopstick with a practised movement and flicking it square at Kiba's forehead. The Inuzuka cocked his head and let the projectile fly harmlessly past, all three Ninja wincing as a cry of pain followed..

"Sorry, Kotetsu-san!" Hinata called out to the unfortunate collateral victim. He grumbled, muttered something along the lines of 'Damn kids' and proceeded along.

"Now that Naruto's made an idiot out of himself, Kurenai wants to see you, Hinata. Something about baby stuff, I dunno." He shrugged, before drawing in to grab a stool next to Naruto. "So… uh… how's it going?"

"I'm gonna be Hokage, and Hinata's teaching me ettiquat."

"Etiquette, Naruto-kun."

"Naruto, if you ever force me and Akamaru to call you 'boss', we're out of the village."

"Wait, what does Akamaru call me now?"

"He calls you arf-arf-woof-growl-woof."

"Which means…?"

"Breaks-wind-at-the-worst-possible-time."

"Never really got over it, huh?"

"You _farted_ in my _face_!! That's probably the most humiliating moment in my life!"

"There was the time when Shino-kun covered Kiba-kun's jacket with pepper, though."

"Hinata, shut up!"

"And the time he was misbehaving in recess back when we were Academy students, and his mother came in and-"

"_Hinata!_"

"Wait, why don't I remember tha-… oh yeah."

"Anyway-" Hinata interjected before Naruto started dwelling in misery, "I think I should be getting going. Naruto-kun, would you mind if you came along?" She was trying for a tone of voice that more command than query, but all that seemed to come out was a plaintive wobble.

"Huh? Yeah, sure. Kiba, you coming?"

"Whoa, hey, I've never been comfortable around pregnant women." Kiba held his hands up, a nervous smile on his face.

"But it's Kurenai-sensei, Kiba-kun. You should at least drop in and see how she's doing."

"Senseis don't _wobble._" Kiba whined, "She was all pretty and powerful and cool and now she's popping out babies and I need to distance myself a little 'cause I know she'll ask me to be at the birthing and _I can't even handle it when puppies are born!_"

Gasping for breath, Kiba looked up and found the other two people present (Teuchi didn't count, people who laugh so hard they fall on the floor never count) leaning back in mild terror. "Kurenai –sensei is only beginning to show her pregnancy, Kiba-kun. I think you're overexaggerat-" Hinata began, until Kiba cut in.

"And thanks to that, Mom wants to be a grandmother again! _My mom!_ And because stupid Hana is the clan's heir, I'm supposed to pretty myself up and get hitched to some girl from some backwater village! I'm gonna be a baby machine!"

The figures of Naruto and Hinata burst into smoke, leaving nothing behind. Kiba stopped his tirade to grumble into Akamaru's ear.

"Stupid Bunshin. Stupid sperm. Stupid Kurenai getting herself knocked up…"

Sulking, the Inuzuka let his dog carry him home.

--

"What's the third place you aren't allowed to put chopsticks? This one is important, Naruto-kun." Hinata nudged him on accident, but the coincidental timing was good, only adding a light emphasis. Naruto appeared to think it over, clicking his fingers with foreknowledge.

"My nose!"

A few people were walking down the street at this time of night, and their stares were not unheeded. Hinata's hand reached out and took Naruto's arm, trying to save the boy from any further embarrassment.

"I think that one goes without saying, Naruto-kun."

"Why? It's clean."

"How do you kno-… Naruto-kun, are you being serious?"

"Absolutely."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Naruto-kun."

"Fine! Fine! I'm not supposed to put them in my rice. Are you happy? Honestly, the only people who point out that somebody isn't doing that are stupid foreigners that make a great spanking deal out of learning and showing off _one tiny piece_ of dinner culture. I was _born_ here."

Hinata let him pause, counting down the seconds.

_Three…Two…One…_

"Plus, I don't eat much rice anyway."

"It still needed to be c-covered, Naruto-kun." Hinata huffed, "Honestly, I don't know where I'm going to start with you. You're like a silly little fox cub in a chicken coop."

"Well, I did take a little after-"

"The Yondaime was a Hokage, Naruto-kun. It's heavily implied that he would have been well-versed in proper dining."

"I was gonna say 'That bastard fox', but Dad works out well as well."

The conversation seemed to end there, with the two of them wrapping their jackets over themselves to counter the late-night chill. Hinata's thoughts drifted, as they often did when she was tired, to whatever they had touched on last.

_He's only just learned of his lineage, and he speaks about the father he's never met as if he's still alive. I find that quite sad, really._

_Whatever happened to his mother, anyway?_

"How do you know what your father was like?" She asked, a touch timidly. She had no idea whether this was a taboo subject, but at least she had said it.

"Eh, he and I have a chat when I have nothing better to do."

" You… 'Have a chat'?"

"It's a real long story. Trust me."

They stopped outside the door to Kurenai's apartment block, a two-storey affair on the edge of the village. The garden surrounding the small property had survived the Shinra Tensei attack, but fresh plaster could be seen covering what were probably gouged-out cracks in the wall. Naruto noticed that Hinata was swaying gently, almost as if she wanted to drop there and then.

"Hey! Hinata! You can't fall asleep! You gotta teach me!"

"Teach what?" She murmured.

"The next lesson! How to talk to women!"

As Hinata sighed with fatigue, something small niggled her in the back of her head as she pulled out a spare key and unlocked the door.

_Am I not a woman?_

With that rather depressing idea in mind, Hinata set forth. She would rather it had been a dark cave filled with seemingly-dangerous but weak-enough-to-destroy-utterly-and-impress-a-certain-blond-idiot adversaries… But perhaps a hormonal, cranky, five-months pregnant sensei would do the trick nicely.

Yes… it would do nicely.

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_Huzzah! Feedback is forever appreciated... even if it comes in the forms of a hundred favorites (I know who you are! Shame on you!)_


	3. Love and Lust and a foolish Kick

_Thank you all for the reviews. If you have any questions as to the plot or wish to make a suggestion, PM or review and I will answer._

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"Waitwaitwaitwait…" Naruto slipped Hinata's hand off the doorknob before she could pull it, nearing colliding with the portal in his haste, "You gotta teach me the dos and don'ts of pregnant ladies! I mean, I know I shouldn't make fun of the fact that she'll find it hard to see her feet…"

Hinata stood there, folding her arms with leaning against the doorframe while Naruto rambled on and on. She was tired, he was going on about bone deficiencies and pickle sandwiches and it was too late to register just what happened in the next two seconds. She straightened up, halfway terrified that Naruto had seen, but no. Instead of noticing the usually gentle Hinata's eyerolling and smirking, he had instead launched in a loud rhetorical question as to whether there was such a thing as 'Pregnancy Ramen'.

That in itself was a little scary. From arbitrarily worshiping Naruto any chance she got to taking his antics and mannerisms in stride (And, to be fair, a couple of cups of salt) was either a sign of a faltering infatuation or improved cynicism on her part (Or a conversion to Nejism). Neither seemed to be a good way for her to progress in her relationship with him. She _wanted_ him. More than her fathers approval, more than a friendly talk with her sister, more than Neji's talent or Ino's body (Which she had always viewed as more attractive, even now). Up along with having her mother back, having Naruto by her side was her top wish in the world.

She would just have to make do. What was intriguing was that Kurenai had yet to come out and inspect the massive deal of noise that her partner was stirring up. She decided to officially announce their presence, but there was something else…

"Doesn't it sound odd to you?" Hinata whispered, her hand frozen in the act of knocking the door. Naruto blinked, looked around, shook his head in the negative and grunted appropriately. Hinata beckoned him to put his ear to the door, he complied, and she followed suit, her own pupils pointing towards her hair as she concentrated. Lilts in pitch, a steady and somehow irregular pulsing of sounds that suggested that inside, something vocal was occurring.

There! It was faint, but if she focused hard enough, she could make out the smaller hints of individual conversation. A slowly building rise of an individual voice suddenly cut, then a short burst of noise, then the unmistakable tremors of feminine laughter echoed through the door and the plaster surrounding it. Kurenai-sensei had apparently specified that the repairs to her house incorporate soundproof materials, but it seemed that no system was imperfect.

She wrinkled her noise in frustration, honing her senses again to identify the other invitees. One low and grumbling, somewhat harsh. It was familiar, but not enough that she felt she had a hope of identifying it any further. The second, she recognised the sultry, always-slightly embarrassed rhythm of her sensei, she had never understood why such a powerful, beautiful woman had ever felt uncomfortable around others, but during her pregnancy was most likely not a good time to ask. Yet another was harsh, unashamed. She was about to give that one up when Naruto whispered to her, almost breaking her concentration.

"I think that's Anko. You know, Mitarashi Anko? From the Chunin exams? The scary lady who only wore a coat and wire mesh?"

"Ah, that makes sense. And Naruto, _I _wear a coat and wire mesh, it's considered standard on some body types."

"What body type are we tal-"

"Ssssssh."

Holding her finger out and not looking at the boy, Hinata tried to muse after the other two voices. The fourth voice had a domineering undertone, a wave of character that seemed to mix laughter and a scolding in one. She knew this person, from those times when her searching for medical ingredients led her to strange people who knew secrets… Like deer vellum.

"Yoshino Nara, Shikamaru's mother. Also, Kurenai-sensei and Yugao Uzuki, plus one unidentified… _two_ unidentified females." She spoke softly, picking up the next voice as it cut in. This one was almost childish, was it Ino? No, Ino didn't have that breathy quality; her voice was more condensed than this wispy accent.

"…"

"I think that's all of- Naruto?"

Suddenly, things began to swim into a different light for Hinata. Her mind was no longer attempting to discern sounds; she began to notice other things she had missed out on. It would have been understandable under many circumstances: She was showing off her abilities as a ninja in order to both impress the tackless boy she admired and build her standing. That shouldn't have meant that she fail to notice that her finger had been resting on his lips ever since she had put it there, feeling something hot and moist and breathy and she finally clicked it together that _lips are warm and soft and eeeeeeeeee!!_

Not only that, but her arm was cramping up. She ran a mental catalogue, and came to a series of conclusions. Her arm was cramping because she was pressing on Naruto's lips whilst they were both crouching and pressed to the door. It wouldn't cramp at a comfortable distance, so therefore it was either so far out as to be outstretched, or so close as to be right next to her.

Check. Naruto's face was scant inches from hers. His eyelids slowly opened wide, changing the shape of his face until she could see his blue irises fully exposed in shock. She saw his pupils slowly grow, felt the breath hitch in her throat as the blood rose in her cheeks, felt her jaw shiver and her heart hammer a staccato through her veins. His lips opened to speak, and her finger slipped so slightly, so _inimitably _slightly that she was withdrawing it the very second it fell into his mouth. That second was enough.

Silence followed. She was thinking of scents and blue eyes and the comfortable warmth that she now knew was inside of his mouth, inside of his lips. His face was no puzzle for her, he was confused and perhaps a little scared. Whether with her (_Oh sweet ancestors no please!_) or himself (_Stay Stay Stay!!_) she couldn't tell.

"I didn't know you wrinkled your nose."

"You… you t-think it's immature?"

"What? No!" She looked at him again, to find his face split into yet another happy grin. "It's cute."

The blushes started again. She didn't know what was appropriate for a moment like this, she tried to think of something to say, but the words lined up, were judged too cheesy and shrivelled in an instant. A palm, calloused and rough in all the right ways wrapped itself around the finger she had slipped into his mouth.

"You have really small hands."

She blinked, had she missed a conversation? That remark had come right out of the blue and yet, somehow, when she looked at him, with his eyes looking to the side, at the floor, anywhere but her, she believed that she was finally understanding him. Maybe.

"That's cute, too."

And there. She wouldn't have been looking for it if she hadn't been hoping, hadn't been dreaming of moments like these (Which, admittedly, usually involved her in some formal, beautiful kimono instead of dirty, sweaty casual-wears. And there were more waterfalls and flowers and a full moon instead of a grungy doorstep on a chilly night, but nevertheless!) and most of all, hadn't believed that he would ever be embarrassed, but _yes._ There, so faint, so small, was the spreading tinge of red on Naruto's cheeks.

And, in compliance of the laws of Narrative, they were rudely interrupted.

"Do you mind? You're blocking the door."

--

"Look what the fox dragged in!"

"Hey! Hinata was the one who dragged me here!"

"My point exactly."

Naruto shifted his feet, pouting after Inuzuka Tsume (Hinata knew one of the strange voices was familiar) cackled at her little joke. Anko was reclining with a happy flush on her face that explained the many empty Sake bottles beside her chair under the scowling gaze of Kurenai, who seemed to be alternating between biting off the heads of the more rowdy members of the group and smiling apologetically. Yoshino Nara and Uzuki Yugao were having a quiet discussion on the sofa, turning to allow Temari (Who had showed up on the doorstep and interrupted Hinata and Naruto) a place between them. The final unidentified voice belonged to a young woman in her early twenties, who Hinata recognized as the emissary for the Woodsinger's village. She was standing in the corner and looking uncomfortable amongst the Leaf nin, hiding her face with a curtain of brown hair.

"Hinata, please, sit next to me, I need some peace." Kurenai groaned, her voice raspy from shouting. Anko and Tsume were still laughing at some shared joke, pouring each other cups of sake, laughing at the spills, laughing at how the cups were too small, laughing as they simply attached the bottles to their faces, laughing at their 'ingenuiuiuiuiuuiuiuty'. The air swam with the vapours of alcohol and the musk of Kuromaru as he slept behind his master's chair. "Bring your boyfriend, too."

"But I'mno_-ack!_" Naruto choked as a well-thrown sake bottle bounced off his forehead protector. He turned, pissed, to glare at an innocently slurring Anko.

"Wasn't me." She giggled, pointing at Yoshino. The Nara gave a single wave, smacking another sake bottle into her palm with a regular _thwap thwap thwap._ The pointed look she gave him was clear.

_Finishing that sentence finishes you._

Grumbling, he flopped down next to Hinata on the other sofa and shifted around. Yugao whispered something to Temari, who growled under her breath.

'That's none of your business.'

"Can everyone please be quiet?" Kurenai spoke up, clearing her throat. "I did ask you all here for a reason."

"We've already drunk all your _reasons._"

"Shut up, Anko. Kumiko, would you mind bringing down my old Shamisen?"

The woman with long hair lifted herself from the wall and went into the hallway, her steps clumping loudly up the stairs. While they waited, Hinata and her old sensei tried to discuss on current events and Kiba's monogamous paranoia. Naruto let his head tilt back, trying to think of a way to enter the conversation. Here he was, after just begging Hinata to teach him… wait, wait was he asking for?

"Oh, by the way, Hinata… Sorry, Kurenai-sensei, but…"

He felt the temperature of the room drop by a few degrees as the multitude of women frowned at his lack of an indoor voice, and the focus of a lot of attention on his forehead. It turned out to be his own anxious sweat, not good. Dauntless, Naruto pressed on and made possibly the biggest mistake in his personal life.

"Do you remember what I was begging you for in the doorway?"

Forget the degree drop. Absolute zero was starting to feel lukewarm in comparison.

Schliiiiiiiink

Naruto blinked. With some extraordinary manner of one mindedness, every single Kunoichi had withdrawn a number of weapons. Kunai, senbon, a pair of Kusarigama and a set of spiked knuckles glowed in the bright halogen lights. Hinata shuddered, holding up her hands and pleading with her seniors that Naruto's question had been completely innocent.

"How to talk to women, Naruto-kun." She all but whimpered. The weapons were still uncomfortably close to being thrown at his crotch, given how they were angled. "Specifically, I think that a lesson starting with how to not give people the impression that you're some kind of chauvinistic, egotistical man who only thinks about…"

"… Avenging my clan?"

If sweatdrops could have been excreted in the frozen field of imminent death, they would have been produced en masse. Naruto obviously thought that the Uchiha were the epitome of such centred feelings.

_Although come to think of it..._

"… More like rebuilding it."

"Marriage?"

"Before that." Anko corrected.

"_After _that." Kurenai snapped.

"Well, whenever you need a fancy replacement for the one you lost. Did I ever tell you the time my husband and I-" Tsume was fortunately interrupted by a sudden, unified wall of sound.

"YES." Everyone chorused, Hinata included.

"Even the part where I pulled out a wirebrush and-"

"Goddamnit already, Tsume! Nobody wants to hear that again!" Yugao barked.

"I do." Anko piped up, although her single plea was lost in the shouting. "Especially the part where she got the Dog Collar out."

Naruto siddled along, trying to get as close to Hinata as he could and away from all the crazy kunoichi. "Are they always like this?"

"M-more or less."

She jumped when she was tapped on the shoulder, which turned out to be the quiet girl with a polished, oddly designed Shamisen held in her other hand.

"Yours."

Naruto stared as Hinata took the instrument almost reverently by the neck, her fingers gliding over the sides of the oblong drum to set it next to the right of her waist. Three knobs, and she twisted them, plucking at the strings with a ginko-leaf pick. The dulcet, stinging tones rang out, and the hubbub in the room slowly subsided to listen.

Hinata looked up at Naruto, willing her face to stay at its normal hue.

"Naruto-kun, the first lesson of talking to women that I can give you… is that you have to accept the differences."

He nodded, blinked, shook his head, blinked again and settled for one last nod.

"The second? You must be patient."

He frowned, but nodded.

"The third?"

She plucked a few string, humming a faint melody that sounded like a lullaby. She smiled, her lips parting to reveal small white teeth and her tongue lightly bit between them.

"You must… be patient."

_With that, she began to play…_

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_Please Review! So many favorites and Alerts but so few reviews! Be kind!_

_Oh, and please click on my poll (It's to do with Pyschological assessment) and if you have a little free tree, click on the Billy Vs Snakeman link at the bottom!  
_


	4. You cannot win without canny sins

_I've been busy. The music's Hinata's theme. Google it._

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At first, Naruto had shuffled and grumbled and looked around the rooms, bored. Shamisen wasn't his kind of instrument; he liked the Aido drums that they had played for him back in Waterfall. Energy and power and young fire that spoke to him in a way that hotwired the brain to his feet, his heart to his soul. This was more akin to the sharp tang of wind in the air, the hard clicking of pebbles, the entire symphony describing some kind of weathered walk through the trees.

He looked around the room. Kurenai was lying back, eyes closed and visibly relaxing her shoulders on the couch, while Tsume and Anko busied themselves by migrating to the kitchen to search for alcohol. Yoshino, Yugao and Kumiko sat back and listened, the Nara fingering a thin scar that ran up her arm in time to the lilting song.

_Honestly, how do they get into this stuff? 'S Boring!_

But the more he listened, the more he began to understand something in what was once a simple tune. The Yugao had begun taking a pair of wooden sticks together (Somehow Hinata had passed them to her without his noticing), the clicking mixing with the sharpness of the strings to put him in mind of footsteps on a stony path. Kumiko blew into a Shakuhachi flute, and the image grew.

_One person, walking down a road, alone. Leaves blow past, the brow of the straw hat tilted down, the stance solemn._

_Step. Step. Step._

A mountain, far away. Something sad, something alone, something that carries on despite hurting, despite the knowledge of future hurt. Something travelling a path, forever, with only the wind and the sound of sandals on dirt and stone to keep them company.

The more he listened, the further he began to understand why Kurenai was slowly tracing her stomach and gently smiling, why Yugao looked so withdrawn, why Kumiko seemed so blank. The pregnant Jounin had her child, something to remind her not only of her fallen husband, but to raise as her own blood, a family. The ANBU member remembered somebody taken from her, and retreated into her own memories, something that was hers alone to take comfort in. It was unlikely the foreign girl would ever tell what her face was about, and Naruto didn't exactly care.

It began to dawn on Naruto why Hinata chose this as his lesson in patience. Without the song to calm him down, without the dangerous atmosphere to restrain him, he would never have looked hard enough at those around him to understand what they were feeling, never mind _why_. At first his thoughts were how to exploit the information to better prank his peers, understand their inner workings better in order to bring out their inner perversion. But a sharp chord brought him back, and his eyes were drawn to her slight frown of concentration, her fingers grazing and plucking the strings with liquid movements. He thought her hands would have been soft, but he saw the occasional telltale sign of a callus on her fingertips, a change in the texture of her skin.

Like milk into cream.

The image changed, the lonely, walking figure became slender, and details worked themselves in. Long, billowing black hair catching sunlight under a noon sky, petals and small leaves sticking in the tidy tresses, a tapered chin framed by two long strands of forehair. He closed his eyes a little, trying to focus on the mental picture, trying to see what the song would become.

But, as hard as he tried, he found that Hinata's movements over the instrument were distracted him, coated in a thin sprinkling of dust from her coat. She entered the second set of notes, repeating part of the first set as Yugao changed the rhythm. Her expression changed, and Naruto gulped. Loud.

_Peace._ _Acceptance. Pride. Serenity._

He didn't know how he saw it. Her frown was gone, replaced with a kind of happiness he had never seen before. Like she had seen something rare, like something beautiful happened with this Shamisen in her arms, like she had found something nobody else had. But more than that, it looked as though she was waiting for change, for a change, for a difference.

His gaze lowered to her eyes, half-closed and creased at the edges while she smiled. White melted to silver, and the image in his head changed again. A face hidden by the shadows of the hat turned to expose two glowing white eyes, their light outlining delicate features in the darkness, a flat line of a mouth curved in neutral surprise.

_Caution. Curiosity. Furtive. _

Moving towards him, the ghost of fleeting happiness on that face, the wistfulness of cherished memories…

The music stopped.

--

"Out! Out! How dare you?! _How dare you?!_"

ThumpclumpooophSLAM

Naruto picked himself up, alternatively rubbing his head (On which he had landed) and his rump (On which he had been kicked) while grumbling about overreacting Special Jounins and how in fact the 'Special' was shorthand for 'Special needs'. The door opened and closed while he was busy sulking, and a tap on the shoulder nearly launched him into low orbit through nervous energy.

"Oh god I'm sorry I didn't know you could read minds Anko_don'tdrinkmybloodagain-"_

It was not Anko, the hair was the wrong shade of purple.

"Oh, Hinata."

D'oh.

"That… was interesting. It will be fine, Kurenai and Yugao are calming Tsume and Anko down as we speak." She giggled, "Kuromaru says he hasn't moved like that since he was an active nin-dog. It brought back his glory days, you should see him chase his tail."

Naruto scratched his head, the conversation a little beyond him. "But didn't I-?"

"He doesn't mind."

"Oh."

The silence continued. He sat down on the stairs, Hinata joined him.

"Who knew that nin-dogs liked to stretch?" He mused.

"Or that he would accidentally place his paw on your hand as the music ended?"

"Or that you would grab and throw it on instinct?"

"Or that I could lift a dog with one hand?"

"Or that Anko would be coming out of the kitchen at exactly the wrong moment?"

They looked at each other. Naruto snorted, which started a round of giggles from the girl next to him, which led to full-blown laughter. There was a loud, _expensive_ crash from inside. The laughter stopped immediately.

"I think we should make ourselves scarce." Hinata ventured, the inside of the apartment now deathly quiet.

"Because of Anko?"

"Almost. That was Kurenai's favourite souvenir from Lightning, judging from the frequency of the breaking material. Which Anko just broke, if you hadn't guessed. I think. It could also be-"

All the lights in the house went out. A whimpering sound audible through the thick door drifted through as killing intent rolled out of the wood.

"The souvenir it is. Let's run, please?" Hinata suggested, timidly, only to find that Naruto was already off the stairs and barrelling down the street.

Sighing, Hinata ran after him, trying not to imagine just what kind of illusionary hell her Sensei was putting Anko through. Hopefully it wasn't the one with talking feet, she always suspected that people were mocking her Shrinking violet personality when they constantly inspected the ground in mute terror for weeks on end.

--

"So when'd you start learning Shamisen, anyway? Ninja training?"

Hinata perked up as they walked aimlessly, recalling the more enjoyable parts of being a Hyuuga. "A wandering Miko called in Father's favour after she had been exiled from her shrine. It was either a lifetime of teaching in our country or the life of a Geisha in hers."

"Just two choices? For life?" His voice carried his unmistakeable condemnation of unfairness.

"Her circumstances were complicated. She was soon going to be physically unable to perform heavy labour or sustain herself, and the only people willing to offer her asylum for the time being were the _girou_. They catered to strange tastes, you see."

"I don't get it."

"She was pregnant, Naruto-kun."

"Ooooh. Oh. _Oh._"

"And she became my tutor in spiritual arts when I was old enough, and cultural etiquette too, a lot of rather boring and unnecessary things. She was a good teacher, however. She knew when I needed to be pushed, or when I… I miss her, come to think of it."

"Why? What happened to her?"

"She got married. Yamanami Chuushou-"

"The weapon-maker? 'Best Blades in Business'? Hits people with an abacus all the time?"

"The very same. Father used to ask her to deliver invoice orders for us to him. One thing led to another and… well… he ended up buying her from Father."

"_Buying­-"_

"I know it sounds awful, Naruto-kun, but it was in some way a dowry for her marriage. My Father was her father when she stayed with us, and for the nine years she taught me her daughter was one of my best friends, before she gained her own Genin team."

"What was her name?"

"Whose name?"

"This lady who taught you stuff."

"Akesato, She had her family name stripped of her when she was excommunicated."

"What's her daughter's name then? She nice?"

"You should know that already. It's Yamanami Tenten, by the way."

Hinata huffed and pouted as she walked on ahead, before noticing that Naruto had stopped moving a few seconds previously.

"Wait, you mean Tenten? _That_ Tenten? Of the sharp and spikies? Likes to get up Neji's nose? Finds Lee exhausting? Also likes things that go boom?"

"Very good, Naruto-kun." She didn't bother to correct him for his generalisations. But he would meet Tenten on her own terms eventually.

"You knew her?"

"Why else do you think Neji treats her so familiarly?"

"Because he's pitching a tent for her?"

"What do you me-?" She blinked.

"Because he thinks she's a boy, I mean. Like a teammate. On his team. Which she is." He sweated.

"Why would-?"

"Eh heh heh heh…" He chuckled nervously, not willing to express terms of sexual repression on behalf of her cousin. "… Neji's weird like that."

"So he is." Hinata remarked, a trite coldly as suspicion began to rise.

"S-s-s-so anyway, you play really good! I was really getting into it at the end, I kinda saw an older you, and you were all alone, and… oh."

Hinata was looking at him strangely, eyes staring straight into his own with an unreadable expression. "What's up? I got a pimple?"

"Why do you see me all alone, Naruto?"

Oh shit.

"W-well I don't see _you_ all alone, it was kinda that the song you were playing made me think _alone_ and you were there and at the end you were looking kinda happy but… I dunno." He shrugged, feeling awkward, "Didn't mean to sound bad. You did look happy, at the end." He paused, "And it felt like you were waiting for something. Like… like that song was you feeling alone but then you were waiting… crap, did I repeat myself?"

"Yes, but… you're right. I was waiting for something. That song was about my life, about how alone I felt, how I felt that I would never feel love, never have any reason to be happy, never have any feelings other than sorrow."

"Then why'd you play it?"

Hinata flicked his forehead happily, "Isn't it obvious, silly?"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"I was waiting for the song to change. And it did. And it will. You showed me that." She smiled, and took his hand in hers, lacing the fingers together.

Naruto was pleasantly surprised to find himself grinning in relief.


	5. Cool the night, and cool the heart

_Finally, I get some time off. Here 'ya go, kiddies._

* * *

Naruto felt the evening breeze rustle his hair, leaning back to feel the refreshing chill brush past his collar and down over his chest. He felt a distinct lack of movement, like the absence of some strange limb that no human had yet possessed, and he frowned at the revelation that he still hadn't begun growing any kind of hair on his torso or belly. He made a note to himself to keep that in mind the next time he felt like underestimating Sakura's feelings regarding her own personal lack of endowment.

"Nothing serious, I hope."

He jerked back into the present, turning to find Hinata staring at him with a small smile on her face, fingers lightly squeezing his in reassurement. He shook his head and made an embarrassed noise, a pert 'eeh' that sounded very... well... _young._ He had to restrain himself from kicking his own backside as the idea of him replacing his own suffixes with Konohamaru's 'Kore', which would likely drive the entire village insane (And didn't even cover what Konohamaru would prank him back for in return. The boy was getting vicious...).

"Just thinking. About Sakura, I'm kinda understanding where she's coming from with the whole chest thing." He patted his front with his free hand, "Seriously, we seem to put so much emphasis on the chest..." He stopped when Hinata sighed and nodded in agreement, "What, you think so?"

"What does a chest mean to you, Naruto?" She asked, "And can you think of any way to use that newfound knowledge towards your personal training?" Naruto blinked at the last, the girl who had entangled her fingers in his (He was trying desperately not to read too far into that, lest he find that he _wanted _to) sounded just like Iruka on his better days... had Iruka been his age, a girl, and quite possibly a little more open about his mischievious streak.

"A chest, huh?" Naruto paused for a while to contemplate the question. He decided to go with what he knew, "It contains the Heart, Lungs and Spleen -if you count the upper abdomen- which can be aimed for in order to cause near-instant death, near-certain incapacitation and fatal blood loss in that order... It's got a strong bone structure in front, with gaps that require an angle to-" Hinata shook her head and interjected with a "Metaphorically, please." before letting him reconsider the question again.

"It contains pirate loot. Or bad escape artists." He grinned, winking.

Hinata didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She settled for laughing until she cried, and once the hysterics wore off (Complete with arguments that _yes_ she was perfectly fine and _no_ she wasn't going to choke) she asked the question once more, clarifying it. "How does a chest become just a personal point to some people?"

"Um..." Naruto paused again. Hinata took that as a promising sign, he was actually willing to _think_ about his problems and postulates, rather than charging headfirst into them with the reckless abandon she had first admired and then worried over whenever a new mission came up (_Don'trunintoatrapanddieIneedtotellyouIloveyousoMUCH_)_. _With that in mind, she listened with half an ear to his next answer.

"It... reflects personal growth? Physically? And that it means that you're an adult and should be... what's the word? Heeded? Respe- no, Heeded. Yeah. Or maybe it's about sex... like guys with broad shoulders always get girls, although come to think about itGaihasshoulderslikeacowbutI'dbesurprisedifanyonegottohimandShikamaru'sprettythinbut-"

"Naruto-kun, did you ever take geometry?" Hinata once again interrupted, stemming the tide. Almost.

"-AndChouji'sprettypopularbutthat'snothingtodowithhisshoulders heh heh heh... Wait, Geometry?" He blinked, puzzled, "Is this about the hourglass thing again? Jiraiya told me about that but I'm still pretty broad around the waist, he says it's genetic." He smoothed the jacket against his tummy, outlining a noticable lack of a potbelly bump and a certain tautness that hinted at young, strong muscle. Hinata had to fight both her imagination (_OhgodOhgodOoooohgod_) and the blush that threatened to smash into her face like a tidal wave, succeeding only by remembering her previous task at hand. "Tangents, Naruto-kun. You go on them frequently. This can make you a difficult person -abet a fun one- to talk to, so keep that in mind."

"I'm fun to talk to, huh?" Naruto mused, rocking his head from side to side. "Uh..." He hesitated, still looking upwards at the starry sky, cheeks once more hinting at pink, "... Thanks. Most people say I'm annoying."

Rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, he changed the subject, "So I guess I was right about the chest thing, huh? So that means that the chest is a sensitive subject for people... I always thought only the girls cared." He closed his eyes and frowned, nodding his head in a satirical wisdom, "Ino and Sakura certainly do, they keep hitting me when I say they're still the same as ever. I can see why you don't, though."

And there it was. Hinata knew it was there, always there, ever since she had discovered one of the humiliating secrets of puberty and her family's genes: Bigger was not necessarily better, especially not for a stealth and recon Kunoichi. But as she grew older, it became harder to hide, harder to stop herself from drawing attention from men on the street. Her eyes had given people the idea that the usual volley of catcalls and whistles would meet one very angry clan with issues about 'Modesty and lowlife trash that molest with their eyes', but there were other ways, and being a ninja, she knew them all too easily. Dips of the gaze, licked lips, calculating brows, hastily drawn breaths, tiny smirks, and one rather silly Melon vendor who remarked that she'd put him out of business.

And now it seemed that Naruto was assuming that she was proud of the fact that she was... well... more... slightly... heavier in... (She sighed, knowing that tiptoeing around the issue wouldn't help) large-breasted. _There, I said it._ She had to remind herself that Naruto likely didn't know how uncomfortable it was to have to bind herself whenever she had to infiltrate a complex in order to better climb walls (Standing on them would have drawn too much attention), or that she felt bulky and clumsy and awkward and not at all graceful like she'd been assured she was by kinder memebrs of her family. But it didn't help that he... somehow... had he noticed? Had he been looking?

Hinata's minor hope had been killed the moment a darker, cynical voice spoke up with _Of course he noticed, even a blind man wouldn't miss them._

"Perhaps you need a lot more in the way of thinking before you speak, Naruto-kun." She spoke in a tiny voice, "Sometimes you can say very... very... stupid things." She wasn't crying and she would not cry, she willed herself not to cry. "Please don't make assumptions like that when you become Hokage." She ended on that note, breaking their hands -which had been swinging happily until that point- apart and making to walk the remaining hundred metres to the front gate of the Hyuuga properties, where she had been previously guiding her admired person.

"I-" Naruto wanted to speak out, but he was still shocked at how the happy girl had turned distant, almost cold in a matter of seconds, his hand still frozen in the act of gripping the void where another, softer hand had been. Before she walked out hearing distance in the steadily growing wind, he called out to her.

"I just meant you were confident! I just thought you didn't care what anybody else thought!"

She ceased walking, and stood still with her hands by her sides. Naruto took that as an invitation to catch up. He reached her side, unable to see her expression past the curtain of dark-blue hair that steeped her facein shadow. "I... I thought that you were strong because you didn't care about what anybody else thought... not Neji, not your father... if you hadn't told me how you felt, I would have gone on believing that. I would have kept thinking of you as a friend who was nice and weird and wouldn't judge me. And... now I don't know what I think. What do you think I... uh... thunk?"He tried a nervous laugh, which fell somewhere between 'Hungry Crow' and 'Hayate on a bad day'.

"I just figured that you didn't care about how you looked." He rephrased.

_SMACK_

It was hard to tell who was hurting the most, Naruto from the sudden chakra-coated slap to the already-numbing jaw, or Hinata for the instant lapse in control.

"I think that you believed that just because I have large breasts, it means I'm perfectly happy about how others perceive me." Hinata snapped, trying to curb her peaking anger as her eyes glared deathly white into his. "I think that you're a silly, silly person who _really_ needs some _tact_ put into his head!"

They were silent, the only sound was the slithering-soft wind that curled around them on its path to wherever. Fast breathing, fists clenching and unclenching, quick blinking to hide what _should not have just happened._ And then a smile.

"That's why I'm asking _you_ to teach me, Hinata." Naruto chuckled, sad and somehow still feeling a ball of harmony curl inside him, "I don't know who else would bother to teach me. Sakura thinks I can't be changed, Tsunade thinks I don't need to be changed, and the others... believe me, Hinata-chan, when I say that you're the only person I trust to... to show me the right way, to save me with her words, her thoughts, her feelings, her smile. To save me, before I realize that I even needed saving."

With that, he reached for he hand again. She let him take it, let him tangle their fingers together in an awkward, lopsided bunch of extremeties that showed her that in his own inexperienced way, Naruto was trying to be gentle with her feelings. It was enough for her to cool her head, to nimbly dance her fingers through his hand until they were comfortably brought together again.

"Plus, it's an S-class mission. Top-notch pay, premium tea, Granny's Sake, you name it!" He chuckled, more in line with his usual self, and Hinata couldn't help but giggle as her own spirits rose. She leaned forward, causing him to gulp in sudden anticipation, only to have his shoulders slump in relief (Disappointment?) when she came to rest her head on his shoulder instead.

"How about Dinner?" He asked, again. She made a cute, non-commited sound before wrapping her other arm around his waist. "... I-Is that a yes?" He stammered, only getting another giggle and a shrug. Her breath felt small, ticklish and warm on his neck, and he could almost feel her lips moving against his skin, imagine the touch of red against him, the wetness of her mouth massaging his flesh...

"AaaaaaaahyougottaplaytheShamisenformeagain!" He blurted out, tugging her back a little abruptly as she blinked at him, hurt and a little confused. The sight of Naruto in a cold sweat (Not to mention the now-familiar pink tinge) gave her hope enough to play along. She gave his hand a swing, motioning him to follow her as they rounded the corner of the Hyuuga estate, finally heading back home.

"I'd be glad to, Naruto-kun." Hinata hummed as they walked, a tuneless little ditty Hanabi was fond of reciting whenever she found herself exhausted from training. "However, I just hope my next practice goes on with a little less interruption."

"Yeah, all that screaming and banging and sake involved would have definitely woken up the neighbours. Just as well that place was picked for seclusion, right? Maybe we'll have to bring a jutsu next time. Y'know, for protection?" Naruto shuddered as he recalled the killing intent that rolled out of the apartment.

"Kurenai-sensei told me that wasn't a problem. My real issue is learning to properly handle the instruments we got taught about in Kunoichi training. They'd made for larger hands than mine, you see."

"Hey, when I said small hands were cute, I meant... it..."

_They weren't alone._

Naruto immediately withdrew a kunai, preparing to defend himself (And Hinata, should it come to that) against whatever was oozing such vast, dangerously refined killing intent. It rolled, almost sickening him, like Orochimaru's intense evil, save that it was less malicious and more absolutely brutal, although a tinge of pettyness played up here and there. He searched around with his eyes, they had reached the gates of the Hyuuga estate, the Tori high and foreboding, the man next to the right pillar suspicious in his white gown, the trees glowing silver in the moonlight-

-The man spoke. Naruto nearly wet himself at his deep, menacing tone.

"My Eldest daughter, who is of age and highly desired by many high-ranking noblemen, returns after midnight in the companion of a young man, dusty and exhausted and smelling of smoke and strong drink... She has apparently been playing a traditional courting instrument for him when they were 'interrupted' in a place 'picked for seclusion' by an activity that involved 'screaming and banging and sake', and then goes on to talk about the need for 'protection'. I'm not even going to bother asking about the hands or the instruments."

Hinata and Naruto made goldfish impersonations. Naruto was stunned senseless by the implications of what Hiashi (Indeed, it was the one and only stick-up-the-ass-master himself) believed he and his daughter had committed. Hinata was wondering if she could learn a Doton and bury herself to save everyone the trouble.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"H-hai!" Naruto squeaked, kicking himself. He forced himself not to run as Hiashi reached beside him to pick up an old, elaborate Wakizashi leaning against the Tori frame. "I have a very simple question for you."

"W-we didn't..."

"Would you like to be cremated..." He swung his sword into a ready stance, "Or buried at sea?"

Ten minutes later, the entire village was waking to the sounds of complicated destruction as Kaiten and Futonken-no-jutsu echoed off the walls of Konoha.

* * *

_Special thanks to Perpetual, who showed me that my crap ain't s crappy... even if it gets jack-all reviews (Hint hint)._


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